You Can’t Give Vodka to a Baby: And Other Parenting Myths

Book Author Oliver Green
Rights Available World excl. NZ and North America

You can’t give vodka to a baby… and other parenting myths is a parody baby/child-raising manual. A joke. Filled with advice, diagrams, case studies and the most politically incorrect views on raising children ever put on paper. It pokes fun at the millions of books, articles, blogs and people out there who make it their business to tell other people how to raise their kids – and do it with such passive aggressive bullying verve.

Written by fictitious Author Dr Oliver (He got his doctorate from the same university as Dr Dre…) and filled with “You can’t say that!” moments that will give new parents a chuckle and make them remember that raising kids isn’t as complicated as the advice industry would have them believe.

Or as Dr Oliver would say: “Kids are quite resilient mammals. Also – they don’t really remember anything until they’re about 4 years old so you got a bit of wiggle room.”

About the Author
Dr Oliver
is a fictitious author who brings a unique insight into raising children having absolutely none of his own and having no formal education past high school. But what he lacks in ‘book learning’ he more than makes up for in life experience having been a baby, a toddler and a child himself and hearing lots of the guys he was detained with talking about their kids on the outside. In real life, Oliver Green is a New Zealand-born multi-award-winning TV director, writer and ad man, who spent many years in the UK.


Upstart Press




Non Fiction


Age range

Publication Date

Rights Available:
World excl. NZ and North America

Rights Agents:


Kevin Chapman, Upstart Press

Contact Upstart Press about this book

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This wicked satire skewers all the sacred cows of the parenting industry.

Kerre Woodham

You Can’t Give Vodka to a Baby is a fabulously penned poke at the 'Baby Industry', written to give parents new and old a reminder that raising kids isn’t as complicated as the corporatised advice and information industry around babies would have us believe.

The Best Nest Blog

Hilarious parody parenting book that mixes in true facts with adult humour. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH REAL PARENTING ADVICE OR BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.